Few years back I had a student named Ritu, studying in class 9th. She was a cancer patient and belonged to a very low socio- economic strata.
As counselor I would help children develop positive thinking. One day in the assembly I asked students if anyone among them would volunteer to say 5-6 sentences on “How lucky they were”. Ritu was the first one to come forward and what she spoke touched my heart.
Ritu said “I suffer from throat cancer. There are many people whose cancer is diagnosed at a very later stage but I am blessed to be diagnosed at a very early stage.
• I am lucky that my parents send me to school in spite of my illness. There are so many girls who are hale and hearty yet do not get the opportunity to ever attend the school.
• I am lucky to have understanding and caring teachers and parents, there are many children who were not so lucky to even see their parents or attend any school.
• I am lucky to have two meals, there are many who do not get even one.
• I am lucky to get treated for my cancer in spite of being a girl & belonging to not so privileged family, many daughters are not even allowed to be born .
• There are so many people with physical disabilities but I am lucky to have one piece body.

These few sentences from a 14 year child touched the heart of all the teachers and students, few even had tears in their eyes. The voice showed the pain and suffering she had though she was being brave in front of all.
We all should remember that even in adverse situations, one can be happy if one chooses to be. There are brave people like Ritu who see even troubles as blessings in their lives.
Stop complaining and start living. It is rightly said that “Most people cry that roses have thorns but very few are thankful that thorns have roses ”.

Hurray! now Ritu is working as a volunteer in an NGO working for cancer patients.

“THINK BEAUTIFUL AND BE BEAUTIFUL”.

MEENU BHARGAVA

TEACHING TEENS

I was traveling from Delhi to Haldwani when I met some teenage children traveling to Nainital for an educational trip with their teachers. The energy levels that I noticed, the fun they were having, relationships they were enjoying with their teachers made me ponder if Adolescent stage is full of challenges or pleasures or both. I interacted with their teachers to understand their feelings.

Why is teaching teenagers such a challenge for most teachers? Adolescents are often seen as problem students, but with their great ability for abstract thinking and enthusiastic commitment doing something while being engaged, ‘teens may well be the most exciting students of all’ (Harmer J. We need to change our attitude. Instead of calling them Problem children, we can say this is a stage where they face some problems or challenges & so we find a challenge handling them. Our role as teachers is to understand the developmental characteristics of their age and to provide them with tasks and activities that will be interesting, motivating and effective.

GIVE THEM MORE CONTROL….Give choices

It’s also good to let the students have more control. Give them a few options about which activity to do, or how to do it. Ask them what their favourite games are in their other lessons or if there’s anything they want to play. You will likely have to reject a few of them, but they’ll appreciate the freedom. You can also use this as a reward for cooperating with other activities.

Also when it comes to things like classroom management, you can consider letting them have a say in seating arrangements. Avoid Confrontational statements, accusation statements with them. Appreciate them in front of all But don’t insult them in class. Positive attitude of a teacher, Body Language of the Teacher &other personality traits of the teachers make a difference.

Meenu Bhargava

No nation, no society, no community can hold its head high and claim to be part of the civilized world if it condones the practice of discriminating against one half of humanity represented by women.”  – Prime Minister Manmohan Singh

The news ofwomen&girls beingbrutally gang-raped or individuallyattacked or beaten to death shocks us all. We all demand to either hang the culprits or castrate the offender or give them harsh punishments. But will it be the ultimate solution to the problem?We have to bring the change in the attitude of the society towards the women.Women should be respected for what they are.The very woman who has put you on the earth, should you disrespect her? Can the world exist without a woman?

It is the time for the institutes to sensitize the youngster to the responsible & healthy behaviour towards the women. CBSE has taken many initiatives to promote Gender Equality in the Society.

In ancient time Indian women used to get high respect & that is apparent from the fact that there are so many Goddesses who are respected till date egSaraswati.

Beginning has to be made. We have to collectively fight against the discriminatory status given to the women be it in the family or in the office or elsewhere.

For generating understanding amongst all human beings, Karan Consultantsorganizes Seminars from time to time related to student issues, women issues & other relevant issues to contribute towards healthy society.  We hope these efforts of ours will bring in good results &we shall eradicate discrimination, violence against women, abuse& prejudices towards women & bring back the respect for Women.

Schools/Organizations interested to hold such seminars can contact Karan Consultants or Ms. Meenu Bhargava.Our Seminars are full of Games, activities, Group discussions, Videos & Role-Plays.

We have all faced many questions from our kids like how I was born or how does the fan work or why we cannot fly while the birds can.With these very interesting questions my mind pondered…at what age the child starts questioning orbeing curious / inquisitive? I realized that babies are borncurious with the inner drive to understand how the world around them works.Babies have a strong desire to explore& learn.  The new born babyexplores how to quench his hunger & as grows he explores sounds,his toys,his body, voices of adults, different objects, sky & stars&what not. Curiosity is the strong desire to know or learn something.

As teachers & parents, we give spark to this innate desire to learn. The more curious the child is, the better he learns.

It is very rightly said.

“The future belongs to the curious. The ones who are not afraid to try it, explore it, poke at it, question it and turn it inside out.”

The internet we use, the designer clothes we wear,our multi- purpose smart phones, cars, planes, robots, rockets were all created by some curious minds. What would have been our lives if people were not curious or creative. We learn, grow & improve with curiosity.

Should learning be limited to only class room instructions or should wegive opportunity to Young & curious minds to learn through various activities, games& experiences inside & outside the classrooms.

The beautiful lines for preschooler given below challenges us to think on our role as an educator.

The following steps taken by educator may promote children to be better

Learners..

1. Facilitating Learning with Technology
2. Patient listening to the child.
3. Recognizing his achievements with verbal praises & other rewards.
4. Adding fun to learning by using variety of teaching methodologies like Quiz, Panel Discussions/ Role plays or games/circle time etc.

5.Teaching with enthusiasm, smile& positive attitude.

6.Remembering that words are the tools of teachers & words have the

power to hurt &to heal.

7.Catering to the Different learning styles& learning pace.

8.Encouraging the children to ask questions & expressingtheir

opinions& ideas.

9.Promoting critical thinking, creative thinking,Problem Solving &

Collaborative Learning& team working skills.

10.Engaging learner in the learning process.

11. Creating safe, secure & supportive class-room where student feels

confident to raise his doubts.

12.Respecting uniqueness of children.

13.Focusing on the strengths in the child.

14.Sharing own enthusiasm for learning.

15. Letting children know that beyond the class-room also they can

learn.

16.One size fits all should change in our education system.

Our Classroom structures &curriculum need change in this scenario of globalization& digital age.Class leaders need to be recognized in better ways for their hard work & commitment

Meenu Bhargava

Counseling Psychologist

“The man who has done his level best and who is conscious that he has done his best is a success, though the world may write him down as a failure.”

B.C. Forbes

MOVING TOWARDS SUCCESS

Different people have different goals in life. Some wish to be successful professional, others dream to become successful businessman, some desire to be famous cricketer. A woman may wish to be a successful wife/mother/homemaker/ entrepreneur… A student may desire to succeed in his exams. Success is a very relative term.

What is the definition of success?

Success is a vey relative term. A person when fulfills his desire to achieve what he intended, we call him successful. A wealthy person may not necessarily be a successful person though our society tries to relate success with wealth. To some people success means fame and to others happiness.

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm”

Steps to Success

Success requires systematic approach. Successful people work towards producing something good for themselves and others.

Planning and success are highly co-related. It is rightly said “if you fail to plan, you have plan to fail”. Dreams and actions together lead to success.

Self-belief, focus and strong determination are the personality traits of successful people. There is no alternative to hard work. A student who wishes to be successful requires starting early and follow the P’s mentioned below.

P = Plan

P = Practice

P = Perform

P = Patience

P = Presence of mind

P= Positive thinking

A student should avoid one ‘P’ that is Panic.

REMEMBER, “GENIUS IS 99 PERCENT  INSPIRATION.” says Robin Sharma.”

“To think you are not going to fail is an illusion, fail faster, you will be only

Closer to what you want.”

Meenu Bhargava

Counselor

Teachers nowadays are facing a lot of confrontation from their students.Students have started challenging the authority of the teachers very often in the class. They try to test the limits of the teachers.The tougher the teacher is on her first offenders, the better the student behaviour would be in the future.The students need to be taught their boundaries as the very foundation of learning depends on the discipline in the class. If one ignores the act requiring disciplinary action, the students gets the message of acceptability of thebad behaviour.

Teachers need to know the skills of disciplining the students.Students need to learn the value of discipline if we are looking for a healthy society.Merely knowing thesubject well is not enough for the teacher.She is also to know how to assert her authority in front of the children.If the teacher cannot control the class, she is doing harm to the students who are eager to learn but cannot because of the disturbing class environment.Students often misbehave in the class to get the attention of the teacher & the yelling by teacher worsens the situation.

The few tips for the teacher to manage her class better are

1)Assert your authority well:_When an important rule is broken, the consequences must follow. The punishment should fit the crime.Teacher should be vigilant to the class-talks goingon in her class.She must find out the problem that students are facing.She can call the student individually & talk to her/him away from the class.Confronting him in the class is not going to solve her problem.

She can call the child to sit in front of her or if possible can go to the desk of the child.She should also talk of her feelings after the bad behaviour with the class but not withhold the grudges for long. If the teacher loses her temper in class, she need not be apologetic to the class.Let the students feel guilty & things will gradually improve.

School should provide support to the teacher who is interested in instilling discipline in her students.

.2)Get the class attentive first before you start to teach :-Give students five minutes to settle & be firm that you will start your lessons only when the class is settled. Start your lesson in a normal voice.Motivate the students that if they finish work on time, they will have last five minutes for chatting. But be firm on your rule.

3)Making few rounds in the class-Make rounds while invigilating or given an assignment to the students in the class.Individualized instructions may also follow.

4) Be a good Role -Model- Students are good observers. It is rightly said that “Actions speak louder than the words.“ Values are to be caught & not to be taught.”You need to be disciplined, courteous, focussed to instil the same in students.

5) Update yourself with Technology- Students can be made to learn in  a very interesting,innovative ways with the help of the technology & other teaching methodologies like Story telling/ poems/ Role-play/ Group work etc.Teachers should use variety of methodologies to impart her instructions & she should get all support from school to use her talent.

6)Prevention is better than cure- Schools should organize sessions of counselling in anticipation of the problems to handle the things betterbefore it is late.Counseling needs to be given its due importance in schools.

7)Assertive Discipline-Balance approach between the rewards & punishment is the need of the hour.No hollow threats. Rules should be clearly stated & enforced.

8)Rapport forming by the teacher- A student feels happy by small steps the teachers take like calling the child by her/ his personal name or praising the child for the good efforts or good conduct. Only rewarding good marks is not going to create good conduct.

9)Use of Positive Peer Pressure-There are students in the class who are highly motivated to learn, are disciplined &practice good values should be encouraged to form Positive Peer Pressure to control the group with negative peers.

10)Guidance & motivation of teachers as well as students- It is high time.! Counseling services need to play its vital role.” Every eagle needs a Push.” So does every teacher. Words of praise for good efforts on the part of the authorities can make all the difference & counselor should be involved   to impart counseling from time to time to teachers & parents as well.

11)Direct appeal  from the teacher—A teacher who has a good rapport with her students can make students understand the value of Discipline by being straight forward with them on the issues.

Meenu Bhargava

As parents & teachers, we aspire to bring out the best in our children but at times unintentionally we create fear in our children. Our fears are very high especially when the child is appearing for boards.

No doubt, board exams are important but mental health of the child & parent is equally vital. We need to balance on our nagging, anxieties, &pressures to avoidthreatening situations for our children. Our display of faith, confidence,guidance and support is the requirement of the hour. We need to replace our fears with faith & negative thoughts with positive ones&using more encouraging than discouraging words.

Students though prepare throughout the year for Boards but at times, due to anxiety, fear, nervousness, they get blank during exams or forget what they studied or fall ill with anxiety&make silly mistakes which hampers their performance in exams.

Given below are the few suggestions which may help the students to prepare and appear confidently for Boards.

• Coincide your study time with exam time. This ensures that you are fully mentally and physically alert and fresh while attempting the exam.
• Keep date sheet in mind to avoid any confusion of time, date and subject paper.
• Tallychecklistof the items a day before the exam, like roll number, pens, pencils and stationery items.
• Do not rush for the Exam.Reach before time

.

• Any student physically unwell should carry preventive medicines for any emergency.
• Review the marking system and divide your time accordingly.
• Attempt those questions first on which you are confident & carry good weightage of marks.
• If you start to panic or become anxious, practice your anxiety management techniques.
• Write your roll number and other relevant details on the attendance and answer sheet very carefully.
• On receiving the question paper spend 15minutes in carefullyunderstanding the questions and instructions.
• See the questions very carefully to concentrate your thoughts before attempting   answers. Think what to write.
• Be brief and precise in giving answers as per the weightage of marks of the question.
• Practising sample papers will enhance your speed & understanding of the question paper.
• If the questions are divided into various sections (A, B, C—-) then attempt complete section of your choice followed by othersections.
• Make sure you are comfortable & positive.
• Review the marking scheme and divide your time accordingly.

If any question has multiple parts then attempt all parts.

• Label diagrams properly. Use sharp pencil.

 Write formulas properly.

• Definitions should be clear.
• Learn to be positive and relaxed.
• Do relaxation exercises like deep breathing or prayer .
• Exam time limit should be kept in mind to co-relate with the speed of answering the questions.
• Underline the main pointsin your answers.
• Keep your watch in front of you.
• After finishing your answer leave one or two lines spaceto start next answer.
• Confidence level should be high in spite of not knowing proper answer to a particular question(s).
• It is always good to leave some margin on the left side of the answer sheet.
• While taking extra sheets, tag them properly in sequence beforehand to avoid any last minute confusion.
• As there is no negative marking in Boards,attempt all questions to the best of your ability irrespective of your answer being complete. Attempting question may fetch few marks.
• Please do not write separately on the answer sheet any personal or sympathetic statements / comments for the examiner.
• Do spend some time in revising your answers before finishing writingforspelling or calculation error etc.

Children are beautiful and innocent and trust their Guardians, their family, friends and relatives, yet some of us breach this trust and abuse the kids physically, emotionally and sexually. Children nowadays aremore at risk because of the busy schedule of working parents & child carebeing outsourced to servants, tutors, drivers & strangers for various reasons.

In a shocking revelation, a government commissioned survey found that more than 53% of children in India were subjected to sexual abuse, but most don’t report the assault to anyone. In 50% of child abuse cases, the abusers were known to the child or family. Abusers were in a position of trust and responsibility and so most children were unable to report it to anyone.

Sexual abuse is more common than it is thought. It can happen in all types of families & every person is vulnerable to it. Very young children as well as teenagers can become victims of abuse. Both boys and girls could be target to the abusers.

Government and CBSE are putting extra efforts in making all concerned authorities aware with issues of abuse and its prevention.To prevent & reduce abuse, an act The Protection of Children against Sexual Offences Act( POCSO) came into effect on Children’s Day November 14, 2012.

One of the challenges with parents & teachers is giving children clear and helpful messages about their bodies& health issues, discussing issues of sexuality appropriate for their age, and also about dangers they may face.Schools , RWA ,NGOs   can play an important role in the prevention of child abuse by creating awareness on providing safe & supportive environment,  by providing positive role models, educating children on safety  and opportunities for children to learn good touch & bad touch & making informed choices. Effective communication with children is the most important key to child safety.Life skills programmes can equip children with necessary skills requiredto cope up with the problems &also learning the skills to say No & Reporting danger & threat to the parents or teachers. We all need to join hands to deal with the issue and stamp it out.

Karan Consultants has been organizing sessions in schools, communities for sensitization of Parents, teachers & students.The methodologies used to train parents & teachers are through Case Studies, movies, videos, Group Discussions & Role-plays.

To know more on our training visit our FB  ( Meenu Bhargava, Counsellor).

Meenu Bhargava

Aristotle “The fate of empires depends on the education of the youth.” Whatever good or bad that you see today in the society is directly linked to the kind of education we give to our Children.

“India is still one of the most illiterate country of the world.  We have around 300 million illiterates.  And of those who are literate, not even half of them are educated in the real sense.  Half of the literates are not employable in any industry even though the education imparted is only for employment.”

The basic definition of Literacy is having the ability to read & write. We have an act on Right to Education &Sarv Shiksha Abhiyan Programs in India but are they well implemented?

The important points to ponder in our currenteducation scenario are:

• Does our education system allow learners to discover self with the limited assessment mostly of paper- pencil tests?
• Will our students lead a betterlife with learning life skills i.e. the skills to problem solving, critical thinking or team working or by justscoring top marks or mugging up facts & scoring well in exams will guarantee success in life?
• Is health, happiness, hygiene& Discipline not important in one’s life?

Should teachers & parents not spend time on teaching discipline, valuesand responsible behavior to children?

• Are we preparing our students for the jobs of tomorrow?

One of the major shortcomings of our education is that it is focussed on intellectual development of the student through academic instruction. Education is not merely for scoring marks, getting degrees or jobs or earning a livelihood but it is about building a good human being, a responsible citizen and a person who can handle the challenges of life in a more healthy, acceptable & responsible ways.

Mahatma Gandhi’s views on education were “Education is the systematic process of training of the head, hand & heart (3-H) Head – learning to know; Hand – learning to earn livelihood, and Heart – learning to be.  The need is to have an education system that makes people better human beings; that enables them to meet their basic needs of food, clothing, shelter, education, health, security and self-esteem, infusing the society with a sense of vasudhaivakutumbakam  (the whole world is a family and the earth is a common habitat).

“Mahatma Gandhi’s views on education were always focused on an all-round education, not just literacy. He stressed on the development of a child as a whole, not just the mind. “Wounded children become wounded adults & can destroy themselves & possibly others.” Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.

It is very rightly said “Building up a child is easier than It is to repair an adult.” Thus teachers and parents have a bigger role to play in a child’s life.

Education is a systematic process through which a child or an adult acquires knowledge, experience, skill and sound attitude. It makes an individual civilized, refined, cultured and educated. For a civilized and socialized society, education is the only means.. Every society gives importance to education because it is a panacea for all evils. It is the key to solve the various problems of life.

Education should have a balance of knowledge, attitudes, skills & values. It should build the courage, confidence & self-esteem in a person. It should teach discipline & control on one’s thoughts, feeling & actions for a healthy character & personality.  Education should develop a person holistically. School Curriculum & activities should be so planned to develop a person physically, mentally, emotionally, socially & also spiritually.

“The education which does not help the common mass of people to equip themselves for the struggle for life, which does not bring out strength of character, a spirit of philanthropy, and the courage of a lion — is it worth the name? Real education is that which enables one to stand on one’s own legs”Swami  Vivekanand..

Intelligence plus character that is the goal of true education. Every day we read the news of youngsters studying in schools or coaching institutes or IITs committing suicides.Our education is more towards learning the facts & acquiring high marks and not towards learning the values or life –skills or positive attitudes.

In the current scenario, we find thestudents and society with lack of empathy & respect.The growing crime rates, frequently reported cases of rapeand molestation shocks us. For a holistic personality development, we should also train children on responsible behaviour, health & hygiene, Food & Nutrition, Gender Equality, Values, Discipline, Right-Wrong decisions, Safety issues etc. We need to challenge their abilities to think creatively & critically.Promoting sports and cultural activities add value to the learning.Education must also train one for quick, resolute and effective thinking.  “Education is not learning of the facts but training of the mind to think” is rightly observed by Albert Einstein. Education prepares oneself for a productive life.

Meenu Bhargava

Psychologist cumTrainer